


The Angels You Never See

by herwhiteknight



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: (there's a twist at the end of this one), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kira science'ing with Cosima, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 13:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5541911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herwhiteknight/pseuds/herwhiteknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From a prompt on tumblr: "Cosima meets Kira for the first time and tries to explain a bunch of cool science stuff to her while Sarah just watches the two people she loves the most in the world."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Angels You Never See

**Author's Note:**

> I strayed from the prompt a little... or, maybe a lot, depending on your point of view. But the general idea is still there, so I hope you guys enjoy! :)

“Auntie Cosima, Auntie Cosima!” a little voice called as a small figure careened into the dreadlocked woman's legs, wrapping her arms around her thigh.

“Hey little monkey,” Cosima grinned, pulling her arms away so that she could kneel down in front of Kira. “How's this little primate doing today?”

“Not a pri... primate!” she insisted stubbornly, folding her arms.

“Well, actually, we are technically in the primate family and... Um, I mean.. of course you're not a primate sweetie,” Cosima replied, picking the little girl up, standing and spinning slowly as she did so.

_My family,_ Sarah thought with a proud smile and a slight eye roll at Cosima's need to go into detailed explanation about everything. But she was so good with Kira. With her little girl. _Our_ _little girl._

“You,” Cosima said with a final spin before setting her down and reaching over to tickle her in the sides, “Are a homosapien! Do you know what that means Kira?”

“That I'm like you and Mummy and I'm gonna like girls?” she asked innocently as she deftly dodged Cosima's wiggling fingers.

Cosima burst into a fit of laughter for a few moments. Sarah felt herself smile as she watched them. _They're both so beautiful._ “No, hon, that's something completely different,” she said through a chuckle, “But if you end up liking girls, your mummy and I totally wont mind.”

“Then what's a... a homopien?” she asked, peeking out from behind the couch where she had hidden from the threat of Cosima's tickling.

Her mispronunciation of the word made Cosima grin as she sat down on the couch and patted her lap lightly. Kira regarded her suspiciously for a moment before scrambling over the couch and settling into Cosima's lap. “A homosapien,” she said the word slowly, watching Kira take it in, “Just means human. Like you and me.”

“And mummy!” Kira added on with a grin.

“Yes little monkey,” Cosima added, her grin faltering slightly. “Mummy's a homosapien too.”

_Oh Cos...,_ Sarah thought sadly, _Why does it have to be like this?_

“Auntie Cosima,” Kira spoke suddenly, breaking the silence that seemed very heavy.

“Yes hon?” she replied, shaking herself slightly before she fell too far into brooding, thoughts of bar codes and, _god,_ 324B21, fading away.

“We have a science fair at school soon,” she stated proudly, her words bubbling up with the kind of excitement that reminded Cosima of herself when she was younger.

“Is that so?” Cosima asked, intrigued.

“Yes!” she exclaimed, “Can you help me make something cool? Like a volcano!”

“A volcano?” she replied with a small roll of her eyes, “Are you sure you want to do that? We can do something that's so much better!”

“Okay!” Kira smiled, throwing her little arms around Cosima's shoulders and squeezing for a brief moment before bounding across the room. “Like what?”

“Well we can do a gravity experiment! We'll need a penny, a little tiny jar, some thicker paper and scissors. Think you can get those for me?” And just like that, as she spoke, Kira raced around to gather the necessary ingredients. “She's so independent, Sarah,” Cosima said softly as Kira opened drawers and cupboards, confidently grabbing the materials. “She reminds me so much of you.”

“But she's been around you long enough to get your curiosity though,” Sarah replied with a smile of her own as she watched Kira dump the paper and scissors at Cosima's feet.

Cosima didn't hear her as Kira tugged insistently on her skirt, demanding in that irresistible way of a child that Auntie Cosima show her what to do next. “Okay little monkey,” she smiled and slipped from her position on the couch to join the little girl on the floor amidst the beginnings of the experiment. “We need to cut this paper into a rectangle. A really long rectangle. Think you can do that?”

“Of course,” Kira replied in a sure voice. After warning her to be careful, Cosima handed her the scissors and traced the shape out onto the paper and instructed her to cut along the lines. “What are we gonna do with this Auntie Cosima?”

“We're going to use that paper to make a loop! Then, once we make that loop we're going to place that penny there and drop it,” Cosima began explaining, her animated hands plucking the penny from Kira's fingers and flipping it into the air. “Heads or tails Kira?” she asked, catching it and covering it swiftly with her palm.

“Tails,” she grinned, attempting to pry Cosima's fingers apart to see the result.

“Scientific miracles,” Sarah bent down and whispered in Cosima's ear, her breath rushing against her skin. “Like Olivier, right?” she smirked, shooting a sideways glance at her.

“It's tails little monkey!” Cosima exclaimed, leaning forward, away from Sarah's lips that were at the shell of her ear. “So I guess that means that you get to drop the penny first!”

“Drop it from where, Auntie Cosima?” she asked excitedly, snatching the coin from between Cosima's jewelled fingers.

“The top of the loop that we're gonna make right now,” Cosima grinned, deftly bending the long rectangle into a loop and gesturing for Kira to hand her a strip of tape. “See?” she gestured, indicating that the little girl should place the coin at the top of the loop once she had taped it closed.

“It wont stay!” Kira exclaimed, her tiny face furrowing in concentration, her tongue poking out as she tried to keep the penny from sliding.

“Keep trying little monkey,” she encouraged as she stood gracefully to her feet, pausing halfway to her full height to drop a kiss on her forehead. “I'll get the last thing we need for this experiment so that when you get it balanced, we can see how it works, okay?”

“Okay,” Kira barely acknowledged as she continued to fight with the penny.

“Good girl,” Cosima murmured, as she sidestepped the little girl and went into the kitchen as Sarah followed, watching her twist the taps of the sink to fill the film canister. “You're so good with her you know,” she said quietly as Kira let out a small frustrated squeal in the background.

“This is so difficult Sarah,” Cosima sighed as she rested her hands on the kitchen counter for a moment, closing her eyes to keep herself from tearing up. “I don't know how you managed it.”

“She adores you Cos,” she insisted, reaching out to touch her, “You're doing just fine with her.”

But before she even got close, Kira gave an excited exclamation and Cosima turned towards her, Sarah's outstretched hand going unnoticed. “I got it Auntie Cosima, I got it to stay!” she cried, turning towards the kitchen, a giant smile stretched across her face. Canister filled and in hand, Cosima walked back over to the little girl and sat down beside her, her legs tucked neatly underneath herself. “Look Auntie Cosima, just look!” she pointed to the loop with the penny perfectly balanced, though her exuberance was causing the paper loop to wobble dangerously.

“That's so good darling!” Cosima grinned back, gently taking Kira's wrists and pulling them back so that she wouldn't knock the coin down again. “We'll make a scientist out of you yet!” she continued as she carefully lifted the loop and set it on top of the canister. “So are you ready?” she asked, swiping a pen from the table nearby and placing it in Kira's small hands after positioning it within the middle of the loop.

“What do I do?” she asked, looking up at Cosima with big inquisitive yet solemn eyes.

Cosima was stunned into silence for a moment, seeing nothing but Sarah reflected in her expression and her words. _What do I do Cosima?! There.. isn't anything else I can do, is there? It's the only option, isn't it?_

“Auntie Cosima?” she asked, tugging once more on her skirt, and Cosima shook her head, putting a smile back on her face.

“I'm here little monkey. Still here,” she said, stroking the girl's hair and kissing her forehead again.

“Are you okay Auntie Cosima?” she looked up at her, her expression far more mature than any other child of her age. It reminded Sarah of the time that she had first hugged her daughter after all those months of being on the run.

“Yeah,” Cosima replied, pulling the girl close to her for a hug as Sarah jolted in surprise at the rest of her words. “I am now.”

 

“Auntie Cosima,” Kira pouted some time later as she watched Cosima yank the loop away for the fourth time, her eyes lighting up in wonder as she watched the penny fall directly into the canister. “This experiment is boring!”

“No it's not, little monkey! Not at all!” she protested as she quickly reset the loop, shuffling in closer, pulling Kira up onto her lap as she continued, “It's not boring because it demonstrates part of Newton's first law! The first law which talks about an object being at rest and remaining at rest until...,” Cosima began to explain excitedly, hands gesturing emphatically before stopping abruptly at the unimpressed look on Kira's face. “But... if you think that's no fun we can find something else, hm, monkey?”

“The volcano!” she suggested once more, mimicking a volcanic eruption with her hands and childish sound effects.

“Alright, alright,” Cosima gave in with a small smile and a shake of her head before listing off the ingredients needed to make the paper mache. “She certainly has your stubbornness,” she muttered with a bitter laugh as Kira ran around the room yet again, grabbing materials from here and there.

“But those hand motions,” Sarah chuckled as well, “And that talkativeness. Cos, she definitely picked that up from you, I'm sure of it.”

“She's an amazing girl Sarah,” she murmured with a small sigh, “You raised her so well.”

“Not well enough,” Sarah lamented quietly so that her daughter wouldn't hear. Turning to Cosima, she continued softly, “She never had a normal childhood, Cos. She grew up too quickly while I was gone. But you're bringing that back to our family. You're bringing out the kid in her again. So thank you.”

She didn't respond, her gaze unfocused on the little girl as she ran around the room, her eyes brightening with unshed tears.

 

\- - -

 

“Auntie Cosima, we did it, we did it!” Kira exclaimed as she threw her arms around Cosima's waist in celebration. “First place, first place!” she chanted into her leg.

“That's right little monkey!” Cosima exclaimed, lifting the little girl up into her arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “All your hard work over these past few days has paid off, look at that shiny, silky ribbon!” she smiled proudly, placing the big blue ribbon in Kira's hands so that she could hold it aloft for the camera.

“Congratulations, monkey,” Sarah murmured proudly from behind her family. But because of the chaos of the science fair, her words fell on deaf ears as the photographer motioned for Cosima and Kira to stand before her winning project.

“That's it,” he encouraged, nudging the women into place for the photo. “Alright now.. and mom, you need to stand just a little bit to the left there, alright... good. Hold it right there okay?”

Sarah shifted over, allowing the volcano to be seen better as Cosima stood on the other side of the table, Kira's arm wrapped happily around her shoulders, the other high in the air holding her prize. “Great. Okay, and... three, two.. cheese!” he said with a click of the camera as the camera flashed around them.

“That's one for the album, isn't it little monkey?” Cosima smiled happily after the man played back the photo.

“It sure is Cos,” Sarah grinned as well as Kira hopped down from Cosima's arms, intent on resetting her volcano one last time in celebration of her victory.

“Something to keep for later,” she murmured, the most recent eruption of the volcano not even bringing a smile to her lips.

 

\- - -

 

“Your fifth birthday monkey,” Sarah murmured as Cosima flipped through the photo album, a now teenaged Kira at her side. “Remember that?”

“Mrs. S made me the best cake that day,” Kira pointed, sticking her finger on the photo that Sarah had referenced, stopping Cosima from turning the page too quickly. “I remember how Mom brought it out and tried to pass it off as hers. And Mrs. S just stood in the background there,” she tapped at the older woman, who stood just off to the side, watching the scene with folded arms, hiding a thin smile of amusement. “And she didn't say anything.”

“I don't think I've ever seen Sarah that happy before,” Cosima commented softly, tracing her outline in the photo.

Kira nodded solemnly, “That was before she went away for a long time. Before she met you,” she said, looking up at Cosima with a thoughtful gaze, “But you brought some of that back to her you know. She was so serious before. Her eyes were always so... dark. Not like yours.”

“Not like mine were, little monkey,” Cosima said quietly, flipping pages at random now, anything to get away from Sarah's carefree smile. It hurt too much.

Kira put her hand on Cosima's, stopping her hand on the page with the photo of the science fair. “I wish she could make you smile again too. Just like you made her smile, once,” she said, her brow furrowing as a frown crept up at the sides of her mouth.

Cosima lifted her hand and linked their fingers together over the picture of Kira's winning volcano. “I wish she could too, darling,” she whispered, fighting tears as she glanced at the photo; the one that was of her standing by the volcano with a jubilant Kira hoisted up in her arms, proudly displaying her ribbon.

“We'd all be happier with her around,” Kira clenched her jaw, her grip tightening within Cosima's. She was angry. “Why'd she go?”

“Oh monkey,” Sarah closed her eyes and tried so hard not to let guilt overcome her. There was so much she wished that she could have done differently. So, so differently.

“She had to,” Cosima tried to explain through her owns tears, her own disappointment. Her own anger. She had asked the same questions so many times over the past months. But now she had to piece together an answer for their daughter. For Sarah's daughter. “If she could have chosen something that could protect us and keep her alive, I know she would have done it.” _I know she would have,_ Cosima said in her head, trying to convince herself. But sometimes, she wasn't always sure.

Kira was silent for awhile, her grip relaxing as she stared at the photo of her and Cosima at the science fair all those years ago. Then, “She's still here, isn't she? I can feel her sometimes.”

Sarah's heart swelled with pride and love. And longing. She missed them so much. So goddamn much. Reaching out to her darling little girl, she held her hand over Kira's head, her heart breaking. “Of course monkey,” she whispered, looking to Cosima to provide the answer that couldn't be heard from Sarah's own mouth. _Please,_ she begged silently, _Help me._

“She's never left us, hon,” Cosima replied with a sad smile. _That_ she was sure of. Whenever there were days that were too much for her to carry on by herself, she remembered what Sarah had said to her before she left for the last time. And she repeated them to Kira now. “You can't see her, but she's here. She's protecting us. Now and always.”


End file.
